1
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,339
Can I have
    Willie's meatloaf, Kate?

2
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,274
              No!

3
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,043
             Fine.

4
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,315
If Willie isn't home by midnight

5
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,317
 then can I have his meatloaf?

6
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,888
        - Hi, honey.
        - Hi, everybody.

7
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:23,922
           - Hi, dad.
           - Hi, dad.

8
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,424
   Can I have your meatloaf?

9
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,558
                             No.

10
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,527
       Let Willie answer.

11
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,230
           - Willie?
           - No.

12
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,598
             Shoot!

13
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,901
       Honey, how was
       the union meeting?

14
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,703
Well, they elected me
picket captain.

15
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,904
What does that tell you?

16
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,639
     Oh, you're going on strike?

17
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,542
[inhales deeply]
I'm afraid so.

18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,977
              Oh.

19
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:47,613
         Just the thought of it
         gives me a sick feeling

20
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,848
       in the pit of my stomach.

21
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,618
Then meatloaf would only
make you more queasy.

22
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,222
         [theme music]

23
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:30,122
       [music continues]

24
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,350
         [theme music]

25
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,660
           - Willie?
           - Oh.

26
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:11,897
Honey, what's wrong?

27
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:15,367
           Oh, it's this strike.

28
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:18,670
      I'm afraid it's gonna last
      for quite a while.

29
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,372
Oh, honey,
we've got our savings.

30
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,573
We'll be okay for now.

31
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,575
 Well, it's not just that, Kate.

32
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,945
 There are a lot of people
 that depend on social services.

33
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,515
       Where are they gonna turn
       when we're not there?

34
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,150
Willie, you work hard.

35
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,652
You're entitled
to fair compensation.

36
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,921
Now, in any strike
there are innocent people

37
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,657
who are gonna suffer,
but on the other hand

38
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,292
if you feel justified
in your demands

39
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,294
you cannot really assume
responsibility for every--

40
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,462
Kate?

41
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,663
Yeah?

42
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,698
        I think I can sleep now.

43
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,904
           Question.

44
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:54,239
       Perhaps I spoke too soon.

45
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,708
          Bottom line.

46
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,343
     I'm concerned
     about how this strike

47
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,380
   is gonna effect everyone,
   especially me.

48
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:06,151
Spoken like a true humanitarian.

49
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:10,522
I know. And I have the solution
in five simple words.

50
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,425
   Willie gets a-nother job.

51
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,061
       That's four words.

52
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,997
  Good, I ran out of fingers.

53
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,999
 You know, as a matter of fact,
 I was just thinking

54
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,202
that<i> I</i> should go back to work.

55
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,837
Hah hah hah!

56
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,240
Good one, Kate!

57
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,710
I have always worked, ALF.

58
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,178
I sold real estate, by choice

59
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,681
until I got pregnant
with Lynn, by choice.

60
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,082
I went back to work,
by choice

61
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,984
until I got pregnant
with Brian, by choice.

62
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:42,421
And I was just getting ready
to go back to work, by choice..

63
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,656
...when we got you.

64
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,259
  I have a gut feeling
  I'm not gonna hear the words

65
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:50,095
          "By choice."

66
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,699
     ALF, you know we're glad
     you're part of this family.

67
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:59,104
We are, ALF. Even at this
   inconveniently late hour.

68
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,473
      Then isn't it time
      we made it official?

69
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,942
      Made what official?

70
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,410
          My adoption.

71
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,981
          Oh, I don't even think
          we can do that.

72
00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,216
           Can we?
           No, we can't do that.

73
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,885
            Why not?

74
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,556
      Well, for starters..

75
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,558
 ...there's that species thing.

76
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,294
     It doesn't bother you

77
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,396
       that I don't bear
       the Tanner name?

78
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,499
                             No.

79
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,102
ALF, please.
Go back to bed.

80
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,872
  But, Kate, if you get a job

81
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,941
  who's gonna take care of me?

82
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,177
Willie will be here.

83
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,748
  No offense,
  but, Kate, if you get a job

84
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,916
  who's gonna take care of me?

85
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,288
      ALF, you're 231 years old.

86
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,190
You should be able
to take care of yourself by now.

87
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:56,828
 You'd think so, wouldn't you?

88
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,031
      [instrumental music]

89
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:03,068
      [instrumental music]

90
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,410
           - Hi, ALF.
           - Yo, Bri.

91
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,745
       What you watchin'?

92
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,213
  "Love Connection," "Bonanza"

93
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,882
       "People's Court,"
"Divorce Court"

94
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,817
       "Superior Court,"
       "Surfer Hawks"

95
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,919
   "Oprah," "Phil," "Geraldo"

96
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,155
and some movie with Dean Jones.

97
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,824
    Doesn't that make you dizzy?

98
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,192
Yeah.

99
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,661
Hey, where you going?

100
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,330
                       Homework.

101
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,599
      Are you calling mom again?

102
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,134
Call Kate?

103
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,704
Why would I call
the woman who abandoned me

104
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,505
in my century of need?

105
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,010
            [sighs]

106
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,848
     Tough day on the line,
     Norma Rae?

107
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,317
  Please stop calling me that.

108
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,753
      I called you that
because I like you.

109
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,955
       I really like you.

110
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,591
              Oh.

111
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:04,563
Boy, I feel like I walked
about 50 miles today.

112
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,032
Say, you're not calling
Kate again, are you?

113
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,334
       For your information,
       I'm calling for the time.

114
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,673
     Kate? What time is it?

115
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,609
           Thank you.

116
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,382
                         Willie?

117
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,952
Yes, ALF?

118
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,620
                 Are you asleep?

119
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,424
Yes, I am, and deeply so.

120
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,694
    Well, I guess it doesn't
    bother you then, huh?

121
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,398
    You guess
    what doesn't bother me?

122
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,833
That you don't
      have a job anymore.

123
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,402
I have a job.

124
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,138
             Then why aren't you
             going to it?

125
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:48,673
I explained this
to you already, ALF.

126
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,043
    Not to my satisfaction.

127
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:56,381
         [sighs]
         In business..

128
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:58,984
     ...there is something
     called management

129
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,153
  and something called labor.

130
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:04,623
    Wait, wait, wait.
    Let me get comfortable.

131
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,959
Management--

132
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,495
Can you hand me my soda, Willie?

133
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,000
        - Management--
        - And the chips.

134
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,206
And a napkin.

135
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,752
        - Are you ready?
        - Not quite.

136
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,123
       [cracks knuckles]

137
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:48,733
             Ready.

138
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,039
  Management hires labor to..

139
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,441
           ...well..

140
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,143
           ...labor.

141
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,313
    What does management do?

142
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,417
Nobody's quite sure.

143
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:06,852
Anyway, when..

144
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,653
                      [slurping]

145
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,022
When labor feels that they're

146
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,124
not being treated fairly

147
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,026
for example, if they feel
they're not being

148
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,495
paid enough, then--

149
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,297
 I never thought I'd say this,
 weeping willow

150
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,800
but Kate's more fun
  to have around than you are.

151
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,071
  Remember how she used to look?

152
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,940
                        Smiling.

153
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,709
                   Serving food.

154
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,412
      Following me around
      with a Johnny mop.

155
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,884
       - Now she's dead.
       - She's not dead!

156
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:41,086
      She's just working.

157
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:44,689
   Dead, working, same thing.

158
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,192
    Did it ever occur to you
    that Kate might want

159
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,161
     to have a little more
     out of life?

160
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,464
       If it ain't broke,
       don't step on it.

161
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,698
Fix it.

162
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,634
Fix what?

163
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:56,902
The expression is

164
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,604
"If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."

165
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,807
         Why would you?

166
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,546
         Go, call Kate.

167
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,782
Why?
I already know what time it is.

168
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,185
        Get the weather.

169
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,791
      [instrumental music]

170
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,364
    See? I told you it would all
    come back to you.

171
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,799
It's just like
riding a bicycle.

172
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,434
                    [sighs]
                    Oh-ho, yeah.

173
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,269
      A bicycle with
      new tax regulations

174
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,504
    variable interests rates

175
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,039
       balloon payments,
escrow charges--

176
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,942
   You don't have to worry
   about everything at once.

177
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,978
Why don't you just start
with the Romansky mortgage?

178
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,179
Go ahead,
compute the interest rate.

179
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,447
                           Okay.

180
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,716
              You think they can
              swing it at..

181
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,585
Hmm.

182
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:49,020
        ...two hundred
        and sixty seven percent?

183
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,956
Well, if they cut back
in other areas.

184
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,123
                      [chuckles]

185
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,959
Here, try it like this.

186
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,161
        [keys clacking]

187
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,130
                         Oh! Oh!

188
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,433
[telephone rings]

189
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,436
                    Kate Tanner.

190
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,638
         (ALF on phone)
         'I knew that.'

191
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,140
                       Hi there.

192
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,676
          Why are you calling me
          here again?

193
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,212
       Willie told me to.

194
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,181
           Nice try.

195
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,449
      No, he did. He did.

196
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,451
    He wanted me to ask you
    about the weather.

197
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,454
       How about stormy?

198
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:27,726
 Did you have a special reason
 for calling me again?

199
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,761
       Well, yeah, yeah.

200
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,696
       I have a question.

201
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,466
   How long does this
career thing usually last?

202
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,870
  ALF, we have been over this.

203
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,005
I am here because I want to be.

204
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,573
 I want to work, I like to work

205
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:44,142
     I always planned
     to come back to work.

206
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,411
       How can I make you
       understand this?

207
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,614
    He thinks the lady
    doth protest her lunch.

208
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,251
        - Too much.
        - Too much what?

209
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,887
      I'm hanging up now.

210
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,759
    Yep. Definitely stormy.

211
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,762
      [instrumental music]

212
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:12,203
   Mmm, Brian, w-would you
   hand me the garlic press?

213
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,339
What's a garlic press look like?

214
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,875
   Well, it-it's right there
   next to the garlic.

215
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,678
   What's a garlic look like?

216
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,579
    Haven't you ever helped
    your mom in the kitchen?

217
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:24,315
            Sure, I say,
            "Mom, it's burning."

218
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,818
                  And she says,
                  "Thanks, Bri."

219
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,754
     I promise not to burn
     the pasta primavera.

220
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,758
                Pasta primavera?

221
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,960
               I thought we were
               having spaghetti.

222
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,262
        It is spaghetti.

223
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,797
It's spaghetti with broccoli

224
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,432
     and peas and zucchini

225
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:42,967
and a light tomato cream sauce.

226
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,470
     Well, I like the sauce
     that Kate opens.

227
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,941
     How come there's weeds
     in this salad?

228
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,509
       They aren't weeds.

229
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,312
       That's radicchio.

230
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,781
  The whole idea
  of you cooking is radicchio.

231
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,920
        - Hi, everybody.
        - Hi.

232
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,355
        - Hi.
        - Oh, hi, honey.

233
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,391
      You're-you're kinda
      late getting home.

234
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,326
      Yeah, Julie and I
      stayed after school

235
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,328
to protest cheerleading tryouts.

236
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,831
  Well, why would you do that?

237
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,066
  I was protesting
  because I think cheerleading

238
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,634
    is a sexist exploitation

239
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:20,004
         of the concept of woman
         as perennial spectator.

240
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,207
      Julie was protesting
      because she was eliminated

241
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,209
             in the first round.

242
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,511
           Mmm, pasta primavera.

243
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:30,415
You see?
Lynn appreciates my cooking.

244
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,317
                Sure, scrape off
                the vegetables

245
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,319
             and that pink stuff
and it's great.

246
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,756
      Anything I can do to help?

247
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,891
              Yeah, you could
              take the radicchio

248
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,127
              out of this salad.

249
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,462
No, everything's
timed perfectly.

250
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,999
The pasta's on
a slow rolling boil

251
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,535
the sauce is simmering nicely.

252
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,303
Dinner will be ready in exactly

253
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,372
one minute and twelve seconds.

254
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,876
       What's this stuff?

255
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:02,347
Will you stay out
of that salad?

256
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,557
       Yikes! The radicchio
       is making a break for it!

257
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:17,929
           ALF, I want you
to clean this mess up

258
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:21,533
          and I want you
          to stay out of my way.

259
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,468
            - Dad?
            - What?

260
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,436
I think your spaghetti's done.

261
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,739
            Oh! Ah!

262
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,810
      - Here, here, here.
      - Ah!

263
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,344
           [rattles]

264
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,217
            Hi, mom.

265
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,351
         [timer dings]

266
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,554
       Dinner is served.

267
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,092
      [instrumental music]

268
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:55,099
   ¶ M is for the many times
   she leaves me ¶

269
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,435
    ¶ O is for the office ¶

270
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,170
       ¶ Where she goes ¶

271
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,338
       [knocking on door]

272
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,874
(Kate)
'ALF, it's Kate. Can I come in?'

273
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:06,010
      Kate? The name
      is vaguely familiar.

274
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,379
       And I've heard
       that voice before.

275
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,518
        'Oh, it's you.'

276
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,921
  You look terrible.
  All white and tired and old.

277
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,723
      How's the job going?

278
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,826
  The job is fine, thank you.

279
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,628
                Oh, I'm so glad.

280
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,666
I never realized there were
so many pictures of me.

281
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,736
Let alone here in the garage.

282
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,206
       Well, don't worry.

283
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,709
  You're not wearing lingerie
  in any of these.

284
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,712
    [chuckles]
Well, that's a comfort.

285
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,114
   I gave the lingerie shots
   to Willie.

286
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:46,451
          You t-took..

287
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,519
            Kidding.

288
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,188
Thank goodness.

289
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,724
       Had you, didn't I?

290
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,893
    Okay, ALF, out with it.

291
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,361
         Out with what?

292
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,764
Look...ALF,
I know you pretty well.

293
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,933
And I can tell when you're
upset about something.

294
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:04,936
                          Well..

295
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:09,574
         ...if, uh,
         hypothetically speaking

296
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,910
    something were to upset me..

297
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,978
           ...and I'm not saying
           anything has, but..

298
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:17,081
- Hypothetically.
       - Right.

299
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:21,719
  If someone close to me...were
  to return to work, let's say..

300
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,023
    ...it might,
    in the cosmos of my psyche..

301
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:28,660
          ...create an emotional
          black hole.

302
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,261
       - Hypothetically.
       - Hypothetically.

303
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:34,565
   ALF, why has my going back
   to work upset you so much?

304
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,068
 Everything's changing too fast!

305
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,536
What do you mean?

306
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,038
        Well, you got a job now.

307
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,807
         Lynn's starting college
         pretty soon.

308
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,509
Brian beat me
           at chutes and ladders

309
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,444
             just the other day.

310
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:50,415
  I wish things could stay
  just the way they used to be..

311
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:54,652
        ...in the good old days.
        Last week.

312
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,021
ALF, everybody feels
that way sometimes

313
00:15:57,023 --> 00:16:00,158
but listen, change can be
a very positive thing.

314
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,493
           Oh, yeah?

315
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,462
   Every time my life changed

316
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,731
      it seemed like
      my world fell apart.

317
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,767
 Like when my world fell apart.

318
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:15,306
ALF, things do change.
Lynn and Brian are growing up.

319
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,009
I have a new job.
And who knows?

320
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,644
Tomorrow, Willie may decide
to chuck it all

321
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,579
and become a lobster fisherman.

322
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,350
     Shellfish makes him wheeze,
     remember?

323
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,652
 I was speaking hypothetically.

324
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,121
                             Oh.

325
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:34,125
But, ALF,
one thing never will change

326
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:37,128
and that's the fact that
you're a part of our family.

327
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,631
        You decided to adopt me?

328
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:44,235
I thought we explained
that to you.

329
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,404
           It would make me feel
           a lot more secure

330
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,873
               about my position
in the family.

331
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,709
Now, ALF, you know
that's impossible.

332
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,078
         I'll give you a dollar.

333
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,048
 (Willie)
 You in there? Hey, great news!

334
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,050
     - The strike is over!
     - Oh!

335
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:02,720
Hah! I'm gonna go..
I'm gonna go back..

336
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,622
I'm going back to work on..

337
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,457
...on Mon-Monda..

338
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,725
W-why are there
pictures of my wife

339
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:08,926
all over the garage?

340
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,928
        Oh, honey,
        I'll explain that later.

341
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,064
      I'm so happy
      you're going back to work!

342
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,198
            Me too!

343
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,901
   Now Kate can quit her job
and come home

344
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,637
and make me salad without weeds.

345
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,073
Radicchio.

346
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:25,710
ALF, haven't you been listening
to a word I've been saying?

347
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,745
         Well, I have been known
         to tune you out.

348
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,715
ALF, just because Willie
is going back to work

349
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,717
doesn't mean
I'm gonna quit my job.

350
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,219
       Not even if I say please?

351
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,222
I'm sorry, ALF.

352
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,127
      She doesn't take any guff,
      does she?

353
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,362
          Very little.

354
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,165
      [instrumental music]

355
00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:00,078
Oh, did you need that?

356
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,214
          [door opens]

357
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,618
Hi, Kate.

358
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,487
Hi, honey.

359
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,689
      Hi, ALF. Hi, Willie.

360
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,027
         Willie...um..

361
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:20,765
     ...uh, re-remember
     the first time that..

362
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,934
   ...that I stopped working?

363
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,002
                        Um-m-m..

364
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,305
        ...it was when
        you were expecting Lynn.

365
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,008
             Well..

366
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,111
       ...do you remember
       the second time?

367
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,313
 When you were expecting Brian.

368
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,616
        Well, you know..

369
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,518
    ...I haven't been
    feeling too great lately

370
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,654
               and, um...
I've been feeling

371
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,423
        you know, kind of tired.

372
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:49,260
   Well, gosh...honey,
   you ought to see a doctor.

373
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,129
             I did.

374
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,463
        Willie, you lox!

375
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,800
  Your wife is telling you
  she's about to spawn again!

376
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,570
           - You are?
           - Yeah.

377
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,305
            Are we..

378
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,545
       Great! A new baby!

379
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,914
  We'll raise him as our own!

380
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,718
                Well, he or she
                will be our own.

381
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,356
Well, as our own.
It's not our own.

382
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,991
Lynn! Brian!

383
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,993
Come here, I want
          to tell you something!

384
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,863
       - I love you.
       - Oh, I love you.

385
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,900
                 What's up, dad?

386
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,502
                         There..

387
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,803
             There's going to be

388
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,773
    an addition...to our family.

389
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,843
      We're adopting ALF!

390
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,880
         Yes! Yes! Yes!

391
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,350
No, it's not that.

392
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,720
I'm gonna have a baby.

393
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,190
     - Are you kidding?
     - No, I'm not kidding.

394
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,793
     Oh, mom! That's great!
     This is so '80s!

395
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,529
       How'd that happen?

396
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,597
            [laughs]

397
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,432
We-we'll discuss that later.

398
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:03,968
      I can't believe it!

399
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,836
   You're gonna be a mother!

400
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,039
    Brian, get some papers.

401
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,908
     Lynn, boil some water.

402
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,743
     Well, ALF,
     the baby won't be here

403
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:15,112
       for eight months.

404
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,014
 Who's talking about the baby?

405
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,517
I want a cup of tea
and I want to read the funnies.

406
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,389
      [instrumental music]

407
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,360
So, how are you feeling?

408
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,296
  Oh, great, I haven't thrown up
  in twelve minutes.

409
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,798
  You know,
  I never had morning sickness

410
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,132
      with my other kids.

411
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:37,668
How long is it supposed to last?

412
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,670
 Until they leave for college.

413
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,472
         [laughing]
         Thanks a lot.

414
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,008
       [telephone rings]

415
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,344
                    Kate Tanner.

416
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:49,313
     (ALF on phone)
     'Yo, Kate, guess who!'

417
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:50,381
          Alex Trebek.

418
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,749
      [imitates a buzzer]

419
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,418
  You didn't give your answer
  in the form of a question.

420
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,421
Okay, in the form of a question

421
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,390
   why are you bothering me?

422
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,825
              Um..

423
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,827
     ...I needed
     to ask you something.

424
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,062
             Well?

425
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,998
Uh..

426
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,899
  ...when are you coming home?

427
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,002
     The same time
     I came home last night

428
00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:13,804
   and the night before
   and the night before that.

429
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,906
              Oh.

430
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,142
          Is that it?

431
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,311
            Uh...no.

432
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,413
             Well?

433
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,582
          I miss you.

434
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:29,720
    I'll see if I can
    get off a little early.

435
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,023
      Bring me a present?

436
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:34,225
         Don't push it.

437
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:37,828
       [call disconnects]

438
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,830
      She still loves me.

439
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:42,433
      [instrumental music]

440
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,536
      [instrumental music]

441
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:13,030
So, Brian...my son.

442
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:16,133
Yes, dad...my father.

443
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,305
 Well, your-your mother tells me

444
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:24,575
         you've been asking, uh,
         a lot of questions, uh

445
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:27,745
            about...you know, uh

446
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,780
                 about the baby.

447
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:34,418
            You know...
            where it comes from.

448
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:36,787
               Where it's going.

449
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,322
              How it gets there.

450
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,524
Oh, you mean
the facts of life?

451
00:22:42,295 --> 00:22:44,495
            Well, that's one way
            of putting it, yeah.

452
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:47,131
You don't have to worry, dad.

453
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,133
ALF explained everything.

454
00:22:56,476 --> 00:22:59,443
           Oh...ALF?

455
00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:02,246
          Yes, Willie?

456
00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:06,283
   I understand
   you took it upon yourself

457
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:10,020
 to educate my son
 about the birds and the bees.

458
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,991
           Uh...yeah.

459
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:15,993
         Oh, thank you.

460
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:18,362
        You're welcome.

461
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,097
     Although I don't think
     he understood

462
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:23,100
      the part about
      releasing the pods.

463
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,504
      [instrumental music]

464
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:31,942
      [instrumental music]

465
00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:35,646
         [theme music]

466
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:02,973
        <i> [ALF laughing]</i>


